Extremely UnpleasantSaturday, December 01, 2012
To compare oneself to others and see what you can do to make your standards better can be good at times. But too much is too much. Right now being compared to others is the most hideous thing I can ever encounter. It makes me vulnerable. It makes me pity myself. It makes my self-esteem go down the drain. I hate it right now. I don't even want to hear a single statement of me being compared to his or her grades, nor his or her capacities, nor his or her accomplishments. I've been doing my very best, but it's never good enough. Or maybe I'm just pressuring myself. Maybe I'm over-reacting. But I'm hurt. I'm hurt in many ways... and right now, I can't stand it. I don't even have the ability to stand up for myself at this very moment. Even for a bit.
I need a breather. I need a break. I need space. Anything synonymous to that!
What a great way to start my month of December.
So help me God.