A couple of days ago someone asked me, What’s new? … It’s Christmas time and everything seems to be a routine now. People buy gifts for family and friends, wrap them up and put them under the Christmas tree; attend Simbang Gabi for 9 consecutive days; buy new clothes to be worn during the Eve of Christmas; and order or rather prepare food for the guests on the day itself. That was the mentality she had about Christmas.
From the looks of it, she might have drained her energy to a lot of problems, a lot of troubles. She had too much drama yet she didn’t let people see it through her. She ignored them for she would choose not to waste time and tears to things that will drain her more. But just like any kind of metal that rusts, how much strength it has, given time, iron, water and oxygen ( or so the problems to speak of ), eventually metal would convert entirely to rust and disintegrate. It’s never able to redeem it’s integrity ever again. That’s what I told her and so I said, Just let it all out. Let it all go.
Tears started running down her cheeks; eventually she couldn’t catch her own breath anymore… yet I told her again to let it all out, let it all go. I accompanied her to the altar. We prayed. I prayed with her. I know that crying it out won’t really solve the problem although it helps to leave what keeps you burdened, hence I asked her. Why are you here? She responded with a question mark on her face. For whom do you think you are living? I added. She looked towards the houses that bright, sunny day. She looked across a great distance as if she’s searching for something with swollen eyes and a runny nose. I don’t expect an immediate answer actually… until she opened up. The first thing I thought of was my mother. She’s always been there for me regardless of my imperfections, of my stubborness. Together with dad, they are always there for me, supporting me in all my endeavors; so, I am here for them. I live for them.
There was silence — that kind when you can only hear the birds chirping, the leaves and flowers swaying with the wind. I live for my siblings, by blood and by pinky swears, too. I had the question mark on my face this time. She continued… I have two blood-related sisters who are now working, married, with a family. Despite the large gap, they never forget to ask how I am doing, what’s up with my life and all. They are there to show support in whatever I do with my life and that’s something I really cherish. We share clothing like we have this one, big wardrobe of our own. We share stories and laugh with one another’s mistakes without any grudges at all. They buy me food when I’m alone in the study hall. They bring in happiness when I have no one to be with. They are there. The family is always there when you need company. And by pinky swears I asked… Oh, those are my closest friends, or so the friends whom I believe are for keeps. Not all will be true to you. In fact, you will never know who will ever be. I don’t hold their minds, but I have my own instinct and feelings. It’s not to assume, but to just feel what’s good and right. Coz once something is right, there will be no complications, no pain, nor uncertainty. I stared at her. Deep within me I said to myself Wow, she said that?
Then she laughed. I don’t know if she read what’s on my mind, but I giggled back. We stood up and decided to go back to where we used to be. I can see her smiling now. Congratulations! I said. I’m happy that you are now smiling like you used to do. She smirked and said, no… thank you! Thank you for accompanying me despite my drama. I can breathe better compared to before. On our way, we saw a big puddle of water. She ran towards it like a kid. I followed her. She kept looking at her reflection. I joined her as she reflected on the water….
Life is a wonderful thing. To live is a wonderful thing. There will always be ups and downs going on, coz as they say it’s a “rollercoaster ride”… but just like the ride itself, it comes to a stop. And when it does, you will feel fulfilled for going through it. You will feel happy that you’ve surpassed it… and sooner or later you’d want to repeat the same thing all over again.